Cord Cutting: A Practice for Healing and Setting Energetic Boundaries

Mar 04, 2022

Cord cutting is a healing technique that can be used to release us from emotional dynamics and relationships that drain us or are unhealthy. It’s a common practice in spiritual and secular traditions that is used to help us get back energy that has been lost and to help us re-establish healthy energetic boundaries.

Everything is Energy

When thinking about cutting cords, we need to remember that everything is energy. This includes your home, pets, family, loved ones, friends and it can even include strangers. Any time we enter into a relationship with someone or thing, we develop energetic cords because we are all energetically connected. We are energetic beings that can perceive and feel the energy of one another. These cords are not always bad - in a lot of cases, they help us to connect and understand one another.

The emotions we receive from relationships can impact us positively, negatively or neutrally. Some of these connections are healthy and fill us with confidence, love, and joy. Others however, can be restricting and draining, for example if we are in a relationship where there is jealousy, competitiveness, or judgement. We can also feel low vibrations and energy blocks if we are in a relationship that is not reciprocal or equal, where there is a power dynamic at play or an energy imbalance, or where there is fear, anxiety, or a need to control or suppress another. If this sort of connection is maintained for too long or we are giving energy when we don’t have any to give, it’s time to cut some cords.

The cords themselves can attach to various places in the body, but they often involve our chakras, or energy centers. If you are in a relationship that feels imbalanced or the feeling of love is dwindling, the cord may connect to your heart chakra. If you are in a relationship where your self-expression is restricted, it might attach to your throat chakra. If you are in a relationship where you can’t be yourself creatively or sexually, it might attach to your sacral chakra. When you think about a person you want or need to cut cords with, it can be helpful to take a moment and close your eyes and notice where you feel it in your body. Maybe your heartbeat speeds up or your stomach or throat hurts. What do you feel? This is likely where your energy cord is attached.

As we move through our lives, as we change, grow, learn, evolve, end relationships and enter into new ones, we must let go of what no longer serves us or those thoughts of “what would have/could have been…” in order to make space, create room for possibility, and move forward. When we are in a place where we are starting something new, like a project or goal, or we are trying to establish new positive habits or boundaries, it’s beneficial to have energy and emotional space. We do this by letting go of what doesn’t serve us, including any negative energetic attachments to other people. If we didn’t do this, we could potentially be carrying around energy from all sorts of past relationships and if we don’t ever release any of it, it can get heavy and create an energy deficit over time.

Some people you might want to cut cords with include:

  • Anyone you want completely out of your life for whatever reason
  • Anyone who is a source of drama (friends, family, etc.)
  • Those you feel need or ask too much of you, are envious, or have bad intentions towards you
  • Anyone who drains you emotionally
  • Anyone you have a negative tie with
  • Someone who is constantly on your mind for no reason
  • Those you fear having contact with or feel the need to avoid
  • Those who are holding you back from being your innate self, who you want to be, and/or who stop you from moving forward in life
  • The person you immediately thought of when you started reading this

Trust your intuition when it comes to this and remember, we can cut cords with people for any number of reasons.

What cord cutting is not…

Is a practice that is used to help us remove healthy emotional bonds. However, it can be used with those we are still in relationships with to clear away anything unhealthy that may be limiting us. We can even cut cords in really good relationships, as it can serve as a way to keep the energy in the relationship clean and help with creating space for the new. Cutting cords can improve relationships as it helps to remove any cords that are damaging or depleting and can help us to set clear and healthy boundaries.

In his book Healing is the New High, Vex King says “it’s important to understand that setting boundaries isn’t a way to get rid of people, but a way to keep them in your life without destroying your inner peace. Healing doesn’t mean rejecting the people in your life; but it does involve developing healthier, more functional, and less triggering relationships with some of those people (pg. 123).” So, if you are wanting to cut cords with people you want to keep in your life, think about those cords that are holding you back from moving forward in a way that serves you.

When it comes to loved ones and those we want to stay in relationship with remember, cutting cords is about breaking negative ties. If the love is deep and pure, it’s safe to cut away the negative and know that you’ll still remain connected to the person, and in a healthier and more positive way.

A few ways to cut cords:

  • Meditation/Visualization
  • Taking a salt bath
  • Smudging
  • Journaling

After Cord Cutting

After you’ve cut cords, expect your relationship to adjust, it could be that it no longer exists, a new norm is set or there may be disengagement (these might bring out emotions in the other, such as anger, so be on the lookout).

You might also experience physical symptoms. You might feel lightness, sometimes there are tears, a feeling of tiredness, light-headedness, or even a stomachache. I think we have all experienced physical reactions when we hold a lot of emotion or stress, the same can be true when we release it. Therefore, it is good to engage in quiet time or peaceful activities that will help you relax after.

Also keep in mind that sometimes you need to do the visualization/meditation more than once to feel like the energy is completely gone and you can move on without it. Even if you must repeat it, after each time, you should feel a little lighter.

Cord Cutting Visualization Script

Find a comfortable seated position. Allow your shoulders to relax.

Take a deep breath in through your nose, and release it out your mouth.

Begin to breathe in and out through your nose.

Breathing in and breathing out.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Feel your mind and body begin to relax even more.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Feel a sense of calm begin to wash over you.

Invite the person whom you’re wishing to cut cords with into your meditation now.

See them in your mind’s eye, visualize them standing before you.

Allow yourself to feel any feelings of anger or resentment, jealousy, or anything else that is coming up. Remember, these cords can form from a multiple of sources, unhealthy boundaries, a negative relationship, room to expand, or the need for growth. The individual you are cutting cords with does not need to be someone you dislike, you can cut cords with anyone for a number of reasons.

Be present with anything you are feeling as you breathe.

Breathe in and breathe out.

Notice if there is any discomfort coming up from imaging this person standing before. Breathe in the feelings of discomfort. On your exhale, release these feelings.

Begin to notice where you feel the cord in your body. Where is it attached? Maybe it’s at your stomach, your heart, or your throat. Maybe it’s somewhere else. If you can’t feel the cord itself, notice if you feel tension or tightness anywhere in your body, or make a guess as to where it might be.

What does this cord look like? How does it appear? Is it thick or thin? Does it look or feel like a rope? A metal chain? Barbed wire?

Breathe in and breathe out.

See the cord clearly and prepare to cut it. Visualize a corresponding tool to your rope to cut it. Are you using scissors? Or maybe a big glistening golden sword? Maybe for this particular cord, it feels better to visualize severing it with your own hands.

Breathe into the space in your body where you imagine the cord is attached.

You're ready to cut the cord.

In your dominant hand you hold your tool.

Say to yourself: I now sever and release those energetic cords that no longer serve me or my highest good. I am letting go and beginning to heal. I release myself and you, from these binds. I am banishing these energetic cords and recovering the energy that has been lost.

When you’re ready, lower your tool and cut the cord. Visualize your tool effortlessly cutting, slicing, or removing the cord. Watch as it falls to the ground.

Say to yourself: My energy flows back to me, filling me with vitality. I am creating a peaceful and energetic boundary full of love and light.

Take a deep breath in. Exhale, sigh it out.

Imagine the cord dissolving away, into the ground. As it disappears, feel all of the remaining unwanted energy lift off of you.

Breathe in and breathe out.

Breathe in and breathe out.

Take a moment to sit in a quiet meditation.

Feel the energy you have reclaimed. Imagine a field of energetic protection around you, you might even imagine it as a light. This is your energetic boundary, helping you to maintain your highest level of energy as you move forward into the rest of your day.

Slowly begin to come back to this space. When you’re ready, open your eyes.

 

 


 

Sources:

B., Andrea. Cutting Energy Cords: A Ritual For The Heartbroken. Karma and Luck. https://www.karmaandluck.com/blogs/news/cutting-energy-cords-a-ritual-for-the-heartbroken

Bernstein, Gabrielle. (2018, January 21) Clean up Your Energy by Cutting Your (Emotional) Cords. Well + Good. https://www.wellandgood.com/renew-year-gabrielle-bernstein-cut-emotional-cords/

King, V.(2021). Healing Is the New High: A Guide to Overcoming Emotional Turmoil and Finding Freedom. Hay House UK Limited.

Ourisman, Jessica. (2020, December 2). What is Cord Cutting? Three Energy Healers Explain. https://necessite.co/2020/12/02/what-is-cord-cutting-three-energy-healers-explain/

Stewart, Caroline. Cord Cutting: Cutting Cords: How To Release Energetic Binds. https://insighttimer.com/blog/cutting-energy-cords/